still

about a year ago my car broke down in the middle of the busiest intersection (or so it felt like) in the world.

right smack in the middle of 2 lanes of traffic heading north and 2 lanes of traffic attempting to cross.

it wouldn't start. i couldn't push it because it would NOT move to neutral. i was plain and simply stuck. cars were going by at alarming speeds like i wasn't even really there.

i sat there for what felt like an hour after calling a tow truck. cars honking at me as if there were anything i could do.

and then it happened. one man stopped behind me. one man in an old worn leather hat.

one man in that entire time span. he walked up to my window. i told him what happened and that i had a tow on the way.

and he looked me dead in the eyes. and he said 'i am going to pray about this' while nodding his head and walked away.

i couldn't believe it. prayers?

prayers are helpful but right now i needed hands. i needed help. i needed swiftness. prayers were the last thing on my mind in this specific moment, in this specific season -

and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

the lesson in the midst of chaos and storm swirling around me.

if i wasn't going to be still- to hear personally from the lord, to seek his face, to bother with prayer -

then he was going to sit me down and make me still.

even if it had to be in between 4 lanes of rush hour traffic.

he was going to get my attention, one way or another.

i broke.

in the middle of speeding and honking traffic, i was forced to be still for approximately 1 hour.

and i heard the lord loud and clear -

be still. rest.

learn the art of coming to me in stillness in a world that will never stop buzzing by.

how could i ever hear his voice and what he wanted to speak into my heart if i didn't bother to sit at his feet to hear from him to begin with?

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.
Isaiah 30:15

i was the one that would have none of it.

until that moment in time - it was as if the lord put it in front of me on a platter and reminded me to embrace stillness -

a gift wrapped in the middle of chaos.

still.